Outdoor Canada Kids

storytime
JOKES

Knock, knock. Who's there? Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce us in, and you'll find out.	.
Louie, 10 Fort Hope, Ontario	.
One day a turtle walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk if he has any grapes. The clerk says, "No." So the next day the turtle goes and does the same thing. After doing that every day for about two weeks, the clerk says, "No, and if you ask me one more time I'm going to staple your mouth shut." So the next day the turtle goes up to the clerk and asks, "Do you have any staples." The clerk says, "No." Then the turtle asks, "Do have any grapes?"	Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don't work.
Haddow, 11 Calgary, Alberta	Stephie, 10 Cranbrook, B.C.
What did the buck say when he forgot his wife's Christmas present? Oh deer.	Knock, knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the tub, I'm drowning.
Andrew Tingley, 12 Boiestown, New Brunswick	Megan, 7 Iroquois Falls, Ontario
What does a bear call someone on a bike? Fast food.	One day a girl wanted to be a cat, so she tried to meow. She didn't sound very good, so she went to bed. When she woke up, she was a cat. So she said, "Oh well, l wished for it."
Kiana, age 8 Russell, Ontario	Tannis, age 9 Invermere, B.C.
Why is there a fence around the graveyard? Because people are dying to get in.	What do hungry sea monsters like to eat for dinner? Fish and ships.
Kiana, age 8 Russell, Ontario	Kiana, age 8 Russell, Ontario
What's a bear's favourite game? Go Fish! Knock, Knock Who's there? Who. Who Who? Hey, do you hear an owl?	Knock Knock Who's There? Banana Knock Knock Who's There? Banana Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana.
Noah, age 7 Lethbridge, Alberta	Jen-Lee, age 13 Lacombe, Alberta
Question: What did the cheese say to the pig? Answer: Nothing because the cheese can't talk.	Question: What's green and says, "Hey I'm a frog?" Answer: A talking frog!
Jordan, 8 Trenton, Ontario	Alex, 11 Laser, Manitoba
Mouse: "Hey, get off of my cheese." Cat: "I didn't hear you sneeze!"	Question: What did the fish say when he hit a cement wall. Answer: Dam.
Amberlee, age 8 Innisfil, Ontario	Dylan, 12 Regina, Saskatchewan
A man walks into a doctor's office and the doctor says, "You're not eating right." So the guy comes back the next day and he has an apple in his mouth, a carrot in his ear and a cucumber up his nose, and he says,"Now am I eating right?"	Why wouldn't the walleye bite the artificial lure? Because he was being Pickerely!
Mellisa, age 9 Niagra Falls, Ontario	Amberlee, age 8 Innisfil, Ontario
Why do cows moo on Satuday night? Because they want to go to the moo-vies.	Why do owls "hoo"? Because they don't know how to "moo."
Luke, age 9 Fredricton, New Brunswick	Joshua, age 10 Niagra Falls, Ontario
What did the banana say to the other banana? Nothing, bananas don't talk!	Why did the elephant not walk across the street? Because he was to scared to be runned over.
Madeline, age 8 London, Ontario	Anitha, age 10 Houston, Ontario
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have guts.	What do you call a snail that delivers mail? Snail Mail!
Dawna, age 9 Paris, Ontario	Katrina, age 7 Mt. Pearl, Newfoundland
Knock, knock. Who's there? Barbie. Barbie who? Barbie Q Chicken.	Knock, knock. Who's there? Amos. Amos who? A mosquito just bit me!
Daniel, age 11 Delta, B.C.	Camren, age 3 Hamilton, Ontario
What do ghosts eat for dessert? Booberry Pie!!!	Why do you go to bed? Because the bed can't come to you.
Brock, age 9 Brantford, Ontario	Mary-Anne, age 8 Gananoque, Ontario
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken wasn't invented.	Why is "h" the most popular letter of the alphabet? It's the start of every "h"oliday!!
Richard, age 10 Cambridge, Ontario	Sara, age 10 Calgary, Alberta
Where do cows go on a Saturday night? To the MOOOvies!	Why didn't the mouse want to go into the lake? Because there was a catfish in the water.
Travis, age 6 St. Catharines, Ontario	Brittany, age 8 Niagra Falls, Ontario
Why did Tigger look in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh.	What's invisible and smells like worms? Bird farts.
Jacob, age 2 Cambridge, Ontario	Lyssa, age 7 Schreiber, Ontario
Knock, knock. Who's there? Canoe. Canoe who? Bring me a towel, I'm freezing!	Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes the cops, open up!
Michelle, age 8 Glendale, Ontario	James, age 10 Pembroke, Ontario
City Slicker: There sure are a lot of flies around here. Don't you shoo them? Farmer: No. We just let them go barefoot.	What do you do when your nose goes on strike? Picket!
Max, age 10 Georgetown, Ontario	Reece, age 8 Kitimat, B.C.
Why was the computer so tired after work? Because it had a hard drive.	Knock, knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, cows go moo.
Farah, age 8 Toronto, Ontario	Megan, age: 8 1/2 Sultan, Ontario

Do you have a talent for writing stories, drawing pictures or telling jokes? Well, if you've got any that are about animals or the outdoors, send them to us because we would like to put them up on our Web site. Your stories can be true or make believe, a funny tale or a spine-tingling ghost story. You can send them to us online (see form below), by e-mail or snail mail:
Outdoor Canada Kids
25 Sheppard ave. West
Toronto, ON, M2N 6S7
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