Backwoods wit: Inventions we’d like to see

In Alberta, smokepole hunters are allowed to mount glass, and it’s wise to do so. Credit: Kevin Wilson.

Hunters are an inventive lot. Just take a look at a typical hunt camp for examples of some impressive jury-rigging. Still, there are more than a few jobs out there that could be made much easier if we just had the right devices. In the spirit of backwoods ingenuity, we put the Outdoor Canada research and development team on overtime to dream up the following gadgets.

Camo Pill: Take one tablet before opening day, and your skin continually changes colour to match the foliage all season long.

Retractable Wall Mount: Your wife’s invited over some delicate dinner guests? No worries—the Retractable Wall Mount hides away in seconds and is replaced with your choice of generic art.

Tree Boots: Tired of climbing up to your treestand? Just click the heels of these gravity-defying beauties and you’re lifted slowly—and safely—to your lofty perch.

Field-Dressing Box: Open lid, place entire animal inside, push button. Instant freezer-wrapped steaks and other choice cuts! (For trophy treatments, see below.)

The Trophy-Maker: No more expensive taxidermy fees. No more damaged capes. Just insert the animal’s head into the Trophy-Maker for five minutes and—presto!—perfect mount. Also available in full-body model.

AutoClothes: It happens without fail: just after you put on that last layer of clothing, nature calls. With the AutoClothes self-dressing system, now you can take the stress out of piling on those pesky long-johns, sweats, bibs and so on. Simply set AutoClothes on your bed, lie on top of them, stand up and you’re ready to go. If you have to pee, just lie back down and reverse the process.

Bob Sexton

Bob Sexton

Growing up in Gander, Newfoundland, and Peterborough, Ontario, Outdoor Canada's managing editor Bob Sexton jumped at every chance to wet a line and head afield. After spending half of the 1990s working as a tour guide in Latin America, he completed a Bachelor of Journalism from Ryerson University in 2001 and was hired on as Outdoor Canada's assistant editor. Since joining the magazine, he has won two Outdoor Writers of Canada awards, in 2008 and 2011, and contributed to numerous National Magazine Award winning or nominated stories. Sexton is the past president of the Canadian Society of Magazine Editors.