Canadian waterbodies contaminated with dihydrogen monoxide!!!

Canadian waterbodies contaminated with dihydrogen monoxide

Scientists find silent, invisible killer "vitually everywhere” in lakes, rivers, atmosphere

In a disturbing new report released today, scientists have found extraordinarily high levels of dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO) in waterbodies across Canada. Colourless, odourless and tasteless, DHMO is used in many industrial processes as a solvent and coolant, and as a fire retardant and suppressant.

The threat from this chemical is very real, scientists say. Dihydrogen monoxide is a factor in the deaths of hundreds of Canadians every year, and uncounted thousands of global fatalities. Most deaths due to DHMO are caused by its accidental inhalation. However, DHMO is also essential in producing nuclear power, and a common ingredient in pesticides. Even after washing, measurable levels of DHMO remain in almost all produce. But the danger does not end there. Also known as hydrogen hydroxide or hydroxic acid, DHMO also:

  • contributes to both the “greenhouse effect” and severe weather events
  • causes irreversible erosion to natural shorelines
  • may cause severe burns
  • in solid form, prolonged exposure causes severe tissue damage
  • accelerates corrosion in many metals
  • may cause electrical failures
  • decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes

Bizarrely, and despite the obvious risks, DHMO is also sometimes used as a supplement by elite athletes, especially in endurance sports. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, along with nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. And for people who have become dependent on DHMO, withdrawal from the substance means certain death.

The pernicious, yet terrifyingly common dihydrogen monoxide molecule.
The pernicious, yet terrifyingly common dihydrogen monoxide molecule.

“We’re shocked, just shocked—I mean, seriously frigging shocked—to find this silent, invisible killer is so prevalent in Canadian waters,” said Samson McGoldrick, interim director of the Federation for Ontario Outdoor Living (FOOL), the group behind this shocking report, entitled What A Terrible Environmental Risk. “Our research suggests DHMO has also permeated the atmosphere, and contaminated ground water. But it’s really a global crisis—previous studies have even found DHMO in Antarctic ice,” McGoldrick opined, with a note of hysteria entering his voice.

Exactly five years ago today, MP Andrew Scheer of Regina-Qu’Appelle (who is now Speaker of the House of Commons) attempted to gather support for a bill to ban DHMO from all federal government buildings. “It’s shocking,” Scheer said at the time, “that this substance is found in a dizzying variety of toxic compounds. The dangers have been known for many, many years…. Even so it continues to be used daily… even in homes, swimming pools, schools, daycares and hospitals.”

Public health advocates believe more waterbodies should post warnings about DHMO levels.
Public health advocates believe more waterbodies should post warnings about DHMO levels.

Scheer’s efforts to control—or even raise awareness of—DHMO in Canadian waters failed. Despite a clear danger to public health, federal, provincial and local governments have all refused to ban the production, distribution or use of deadly dihydrogen monoxide, citing its “importance to the economic health of the nation.”

According to FOOL’s What A Terrible Environmental Risk (WATER) report, this is yet another example of a powerful, shadowy, international dihydrogen monoxide lobby running roughshod over the needs of everyday Canadians.

So what can anglers and hunters do to raise awareness and combat this horrifying issue?

“To me, the clear and obvious course of action is to buy or, hopefully, renew your subscription to Outdoor Canada magazine,” said FOOL’s McGoldrick. “With a lively mix of how-to articles, buyer’s guides, profiles, travelogues, in-depth reportage, expert analysis and occasional gag stories, it’s been entertaining and informing readers since 1972. What more could a Canadian hook-and-bullet enthusiast want?”

Scott Gardner

Scott Gardner

Outdoor Canada associate editor and fly-fishing columnist Scott Gardner is happiest when he's on the water fishing (especially from his kayak) or just surrounded by trees, preferably out of cell phone range. Since joining Outdoor Canada in 2010, Scott has won nine National Communication Awards from the Outdoor Writers of Canada for his adventure travel and fly fishing articles, and been nominated for five National Magazine Awards.

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